I have one of those bodies which doesn’t know what it wants. It never sticks to the same weight, I can lose weight and then in a week put it all back on. It’s a struggle, but a struggle I now have come to terms with. Now, to some people they may look at me and wish they had my body, and can see nothing wrong with it. But, all I used to see was fat, and that I wanted skinnier thighs, a flat stomach and no double chin, but now I’ve come to terms with my curvy figure, and here’s how.
Growing up I used to eat and eat and not put on a bit of weight. My parents used to always tell me ‘Watch what you eat Karina, as one day you’ll chuck it all on’ and they were right, I did and let me tell you, it was shock to me, as I never believed them! I went from being a size 6 to a size 10, just like that, it jumped up so fast, I remember standing in front of my mirror in shock. Now, a size 10 isn’t big, but back then to me, it was the end of the world! Every magazine I’d open it was bikini bodies, and how to lose 6 pounds in 3 days, so I looked to that as motivation and became really unhappy with how I looked.
Fast forward to when I was 17, my first break up, the end of the world to me back then, and I went from a size 10, to a size 6 in the matter of weeks! My Mum went into panic as I stopped eating and couldn’t find work clothes to fit me, it was that bad a size 6 didn’t fit me! I was on the verge of depression and I couldn’t shake it off! Luckily, with the support of amazing friends and family, they saved me and I slowly built up my weight again!
Jumping forward now to 19, and I looked in the mirror one day and seen ugly, sheer ugliness. I hated what I seen, all I seen was big thighs, big bum and a big stomach and cried at how I’d ever got ‘fat’ by ‘fat’ I mean a size 10, yep. The horrible thoughts I thought all those years ago, creeped back up on me and I hated it. I asked my Dad one day how to get ‘rid of thick thighs’ and he just told me I never would, it runs in the family having bigger thighs and to just embrace it pretty much. Trying to embrace a body that I wasn’t in love with was hard, as everyone I looked up to was slimmer. That’s what happens when you become obsessed with magazines, you start to want to look like everyone in them.
Now, fast forward many years later I am 23 now, and I look at my curvy body and love it. Why? What’s changed? My biggest inspiration in life, and role model is Demi Lovato. I love her positivity, her motivation and she isn’t afraid to shout out about body image! I remember reading something she said ‘I am more than a number, and a jean size’ YES GAL! SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS! This really made me realise I shouldn’t care what people think, I should love my body no matter what! I now look at myself, a size 10, with my thick thighs, big bum, wobbly stomach and slight chubby face and embrace it. I am me, and I love my body now. I go to the gym, I get fit and go to gain muscle, not to lose weight. If I lose weight, then fantastic, but I don’t go to lose weight anymore, I go to make myself feel better!
I hope this helps you, and any issues you have. I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below, or even private mail me! You are all beautiful!